Although most couples will agree that it’s important to have an active and healthy sex life, a new Canadian study suggests that those who keep their urges down six out of seven days in a week are the happiest.
According to a team of researchers from the University of Toronto Mississauga, there’s nothing wrong with partners having sex more frequently. Still, couples who make love only once a week are happiest, the study said, while having sex daily may take away from the oomph of lovemaking.
“Our research suggests that couples do not need to aim to engage in sex as frequently as possible but instead aim to maintain a connection with their partner,” said University of Toronto Mississauga postdoctoral fellow and lead author Amy Muise in a statement.
Muise’s team had based their findings on three studies involving a combined 30,000-plus people, and all of the studies agreed on one thing – sex is good, and couples generally feel that having regular sexual activity is more important than having lots of money. But none of those studies had directly set a threshold where more sex stops resulting in a progressively happier relationship between partners.
To answer this question, the researchers looked at a survey involving over 25,000 American adults aged 18 to 89, with the survey being conducted every other year between 1989 and 2012. Respondents were asked about the frequency of sexual activity (from none at all to four times or more per week) and the state of their well-being, meaning how happy they see themselves being. A second study involving only 335 people was also looked into, same with a third one polling married heterosexual couples for a 14-year period.
Analyzing the results, the researchers determined that there is a limit to a couple’s happiness in relation to sexual frequency. It was found that their well-being would level off after frequency would reach approximately once per week. “It wasn’t bad to engage in sex more frequently than once a week,” said Muise. “It just wasn’t associated with greater well-being on average.”
There was no variance spotted based on the respondents’ age, gender, or length of their current relationship, though interestingly, single people who weren’t in committed relationships didn’t feel happier with more frequent sex. Muise and her co-researchers believe that if there is a link between sex and happiness for single people, it all depends on how comfortable they are having sex outside of a relationship, or on the context of the relationship.
One thing the Toronto study didn’t determine was whether the frequency of sex has a direct effect on happiness, as the study wasn’t meant to have a cause-and-effect nature to it. But it was noted that couples tend to make love once a week on average anyway.
“Perhaps this is the average since it seems to maximize the benefits for well-being,” observed Muise. “It is likely that weekly sex is enough for the average couple to maintain their intimate connection and to feel like they have an active sex life, and this is why we see this as the leveling-off point.”
Monash University (Australia) professor Russell Smyth, who was not involved in the study, told CBS News that sexual frequency is just one of the many factors that affect a person’s happiness. Based on his own studies on sexuality, he had found that quality is more important than frequency. He had also observed that men enjoy the physical aspects of lovemaking, while women tend to be happier based on sex’s emotional aspects – a very common observation indeed.
Smyth also told CBS News that he acknowledged more sex isn’t necessarily better, making an analogy to eating ice cream. “You enjoy your first ice cream,” he explained. “You also enjoy your second ice cream, but by not as much. You might also get some enjoyment from your third one, but even less because you are fuller, concerned about calories and so on.”